Shrimp and Grits. Amen.

This is hands down, the best shrimp and grits I have ever made, eaten, or seen. Trust me on this one. And you had better make it before you do that ridiculous diet crap that everyone attempts on January 2. This is not for the faint of heart!

Shrimp and Grits. Amen.

Pour 1 cup of whole milk, 2 cups of half and half, and 3 cups of heavy cream in a 3 quart pot. Yes. You read that right.

Turn the heat to medium and slowly whisk in a cup of stone ground grits. I order mine from Carolina Plantation. The texture is perfect. Their number is 1-877-RICE-4-YOU. Allow it to cook until it is smooth and creamy. Add a few pats of butter and about a cup of grated cheddar cheese. Oh yeah, baby! Cover and keep warm.

Now, in a deep skillet or a dutch oven heat about 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Add a chopped medium white onion and a couple cloves of garlic, chopped. Cook for 2 minutes. Add a pound of sliced andouille sausage. Brown and cook until it gives off it's fat. Sprinkle in 1/4 cup of flour and make a blonde roux. Slowly pour in 2 cups of chicken stock. Stir to avoid lumps. Toss in 3 bay leaves. When it begins to simmer add 2 lbs of shelled shrimp with the tail left on. Poach the shrimp for a few minutes or until they become pink. DO NOT OVERCOOK THEM! Add a splash of cayenne pepper, the juice of 1/2 a lemon, kosher salt, and cracked pepper. Go ahead and throw in a few splashes of Tabasco. Stir in about 5 chopped green onions with their tops.

Spoon this over a mound of grits.

Tape your eyeballs sraight forward, because when you take a bite, they just may roll back in your head.

Damn. I think I just outdid myself. ;)

Tid Nits

I am tired, but the smells fom my kitchen are making me organicsacmic.

Or, however you spell it.

Just bake some butternut squash. Trust me. It is awesome.

Or.......it may be the chowder......

Tid bits

Whew! Whatta week this is turning out too be! I am working full time, and cooking my ass off. No time for recipes until after Christmas, but here is what is done so far.......

Veal stock is made. Absolutely fabulous!!! Natchitoches Meat Pies...done. Hazelnuts roasted for the Butternut Squash Mash. Gumbo.....made. All I have to do is add the seafood on Christmas Eve. Baccala.......soaking. Antipasti Tray....stuff bought. Still to do.......make my demiglace for the Horseradish Crusted Venison Tenderloin that will have a blackberry reduction. Roast butternut squash. Make Oyster Chowder. Make Escargot in Puff Pastry Shells. Make Louisiana Shrimp in Remoulade Sauce. Make Bruschetta.

Stay tuned...... :)

Tid Bits

Great appetizer idea!

Make your most awesome mac and cheese recipe. I use 5 cheeses in mine! Then, put the mixture into greased mini muffin cups. Top with buttered bread crumbs mixed with parmesan reggiano. Individual mac and cheese poppers....get it?

Bake.

Take to a party.

Get ready to act like Elvis for the night. " Thank you....thank you very much......"

Then leave the building. Hopefully sober. ;)

Gumbo. Word.

If there is any time of year that is perfect for Gumbo, it is right now. This is the signature dish of the Cajuns. Every cook in Louisiana has his/her own variation and methods. This is mine, and it's damned good.

Seafood Gumbo

Get a big-assed cast iron dutch oven. It can be enameled. Add 1 cup of vegetable oil and 1 cup of FRESH flour. The old crap you have had for a year will not do. Whisk the flour into the oil, and prepare to be there a while. Keep your heat on medium high, and whisk constantly and slowly until the roux is the color of chocolate. This will take about 45 minutes, I'm not shittin' ya. Get a glass of wine, settle in, and have fun. When it starts to turn the color of peanut butter, the process will speed up. If you burn it, chuck it, and start over. This is the flavor of your gumbo, and you don't want to screw it up.

When it is perfect, add 2 cups of chopped onions, 1 cup of diced celery, 1 cup of diced bell pepper, and 1/4 cup of minced garlic. damn. I hate measuring, so I don't. BUT for those that need to, I am guesstamating. Saute 3-5 minutes or until the veggies are wilted.

Add 1/2 lb. of chopped andouille sausage and sautee 5 more minutes.

Stir in 1 lb of claw crabmeat,1/2 cup of shrimp chopped up, and a cup of frozen okra. This is gettin' good......

SLOWLY add about 3 quarts of hot shellfish stock, one ladle at a time, and stir constantly. Look up a recipe for the stock. I make mine out of shrimp shells, bay leaves, lemon, peppercorns and mirapoux. Bring the whole thing to a simmer for about 30 minutes.

Add 2 cups od sliced green onions, and 1/2 cup of chopped parsley. Season with salt, cayenne, some hot sauce, or some Slap Yer Mama or Tony Chachere's seasoning. Just spice it up to your own taste.

Fold in a pound of shelled shrimp, another lb. of crabmeat, and about 2 dozen shucked oysters. If you can get some fresh crab claws, add them!! Return to a simmer for about 5 minutes. Adjust seasonings.

Serve over cooked rice with hot garlic bead. Have some filet on the side if folks want it thicker.

Get ready........ Someone WILL slap you this is so damned good. There is no better eatin' than this. Great for Christmas!!!

Bouillabaise...........or Seafood Stew if ya can't say it.

Bouillabaise

Throw some diced celery, onion, bell pepper, and garlic in a large stockpot. Turn the heat up and stir it until it starts to wilt down, and break a sweat. If they start to stick, add some olive oil. Do this for about 10 minutes.

Add some fennel root, diced up, if you like it, and a couple of bay leaves. Stir it up for a minute, and then add about a half gallon of shellfish or fish stock. If you don't have it, use chicken broth, but it won't be as good. Try not to do it half assed. Toss in some thinly sliced new potatoes. After about 5 minutes add some chopped up, seeded tomatoes. If you are lazy, open up a can of the stewed ones. Simmer for about 7 minutes, or while you get yourself a glass of wine.

Add a 1/2 lb of diced fresh fish filets (like flounder, redfish, trout, or snapper). Toss in 1/2 lb of shrimp, or if you "pick" like I do, add a whole lb. After a couple of minutes add some fresh oysters, a few softshell clams, and toss in some mussels. Add some fresh basil and parsley. Cook just until the oysters curl like Elvis' lip, and the shellfish open up. Add some crabmeat, stir, simmer, and adjust your seasonings. Use salt, pepper, cayenne, chervil, whatever you like.

Serve in large bowls topped with chopped green onion, and a loaf of french bread for dipping.

Ooh La La.

Gourmet Shoes with a Blackberry Cabernet Reduction

Ok. Not really shoes, but this recipe is so good that you could do it with a shoe and it would be awesome. I used a venison tenderloin, but beef, veal, lamb, bison, yak,anything at all would be just as delicious.

And I cheated.

Melt a few tablespoons of butter in a sautee pan. In a small bowl add a lot of chopped up garlic, coarsely cracked pepper, some kosher salt and a few tablespoons of olive oil. Mix it up and then press the paste into a venison tenderloin, some beef, or whatever. Like I said, even a shoe. Place the meat into the sizzling butter and sear on both sides. Remove from the heat and place in an oven proof pan. Place it in the oven for 8-10 minutes. You want your meat rare.

In the meantime add a few minced shallots to your butter in the sautee pan. Throw in a bit more cracked pepper. Now, add some red wine. About 1/2 cup. Bring it to a boil and reduce by 1/2. While it is reducing throw in some blackberries. Mush them up. Yum. Holler over to your husband that the apocolypse is coming, to get ready! Now add a package of DEMI GLACE GOLD. You can find this at an upscale grocery store. If you can't, order it online or call me and I will send you some. Whisk it in until smooth, then add about 1/4 cup of heavy cream and 1/4 cup of port wine. Stir in some parsley if you want. I didn't because I didn't have any. My bad. Pour over the rare venison, (or your shoe) and serve with roasted vegetables, and some fingerling potatoes roasted in rosemary, cracked pepper, sea salt and duck fat. You'll never miss the parsley. Trust me.

I know that lots of my friends and family are hunters, and this will blow your socks off. Unless you are wearing a pair of designer shoes. ;)

Oyster Chowder

This cold weather screams oysters to me. I could eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I am off of work today, (finally!) so I just have to make an oyster supper.

But before I do, I am preparing for company that is coming this week. So, I'm gonna kill 2 oysters with one stone. I am making a traditional Louisiana Seafood Gumbo on Thursday to honor my darling sister in law who is visiting from San Diego. (Bless her heart) She was born in Louisiana and I want to tickle her with food that brings back her Cajun memories, or just makes her wonder why she moved there in the first place. I just hope all of that tofu and tacos hasn't gone to her head. So, while I am making my chowder for tonight, I am going to begin to prepare for my gumbo. Recipe will follow later.....

Back to my Oyster Chowder.

This will make enough for 10 people. I'm gonna give you that recipe, but I'm cuttin' mine in half. Oysters and cream do not freeze well.

Fry up about 3/4 lb. of chopped up bacon in a large dutch oven. Get it almost crispy. Add about a cup of chopped onion,and a cup each of chopped celery and carrots. Throw in some salt, cayenne, and around 6 bay leaves. Cook about 10 minutes until the veggies are tender.

Add 3/4 cup of fresh all purpose flour. Stir it up to blend it with the veggies. Cook until golden. Add about 8 cups of chicken stock and bring to a slight boil. If you go back to the beginning of my blog you'll find the recipe for the best chicken stock in the world. If you have a problem with chicken feet, buy Swanson's. (You big chicken, you!)

Add about 2 cups of diced potatoes and cook until fork tender, about 15 minutes.

Add 1 cup of half and half and 1/2 cup fresh Italian parsley. Simmer 5 more minutes.

Now add about 50 shucked oysters with around a cup of liquor. OYSTER liquor. Not Jack Daniels. Splash in some Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco. Do NOT overcook the oysters!!! The should just frizzle on the edges, and be plump. Remove the bay leaves and serve with a Parmesan Tuile.

Parmesan Tuile

This is so damned easy, even I can do it. Lay out some parchment paper or a SilPat on a cookie sheet. Get around 2 cups of freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese. Heat the oven to 350. For each tuile put 3 tablespoons of cheese on the paper to form a 3" round. Bake until golden, about 12 minutes. Cool for 1 minute, then using a spatula remove them and place on another piece of parchment to cool. You can put them in an airtight container for up to 24 hours if you want to make them ahead of time.

Add a tuile to your bowl of oyster chowder.

I make some cheddar and bacon biscuits to go with. This is some damned fine eatin', I GAWR-ON-TEE!

Tid bits

Ok.....Hostess gift ideas.

Our store has some lovely honey pots with little honey spirals that have a honey bee on top made out of wood. Add a jar of local honey....Perfect! All for under $9.

Holiday spatulas all tied together with a frilly bow. 3 for under $10.

A bag of shell on mixed nuts with a cute Nutcracker. Under $12.

A bottle of vodka. Priceless.

Tid Bits

I am debating on where to proceed. Appetizers for the holidays? Quick hostess gifts? Decorating ideas? Full blown entrees for Christmas dinner? All of the above?

Side note: Do not decorate your 9ft tall Christmas tree on a ladder wearing your nightgown. It will not get decorated. Dickorated, yes, but decorated NO. TMI, I know. *sigh*

Please comment on what you want to see me post about. And if one of you says "me in my nightgown" I'm gonna close down this blog.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Clean Out The Refrigerator Soup


Perfect for a few days after Thanks-eating. If you are like me, the fridge is driving you crazy. Gotta get rid of it all. By now you have had turkey sandwiches, leftover dressing, eaten all of the pie…..and are ready to chuck it, or make something good.

Here is a great soup recipe for ya!

Cut up the rest of the turkey, bones and all. Stick it in a big assed pot. Add a couple of leftover onions, the rest of your celery and a few carrots you have sitting in the bottom of the fridge. Cover it with water and simmer for a few hours. Now, go and throw away any dressing, leftover banana pudding, and cranberry sauce that is still sitting around. Trust me. It ain’t no good no more.

Now, strain the stock through a fine mesh sieve or china cap, and save the liquid and the turkey meat. Throw the rest of the stuff away.

The next step is to go dig in your refrigerator. See if you have any more onion, some garlic, any carrots or celery left. If you do, cut it up and begin to sautée it in a pan with a teaspoon of olive oil. Add it to your strained stock and turkey meat. Now, really start diggin’. Even check out your freezer. Look for leftover rice, boiled potatoes or pasta. Scourage around for some leftover peas, corn, or mushrooms. Some green onions, and some macaroni or noodles would be good. Use what you have and your imagination! Add some parsley and/or fresh basil.

Simmah.

Now, did you have any leftover wine? Didn’t think so. You are soooooooo S.O.L.

Just grab a loaf of French bread and dig in. This is especially good if you got sick as a dog the day after Thanks-eating and haven’t been able to eat since. It might cure what ails ya. I’ll let you know.

A Recipe for Happiness

Family, Friends and Good Food are the perfect ingredients for happiness and fun! It was a great Thanksgiving!!! Now......we're officially in holiday mode!

Tid Bits

Grandbabies arive in 10 minutes, so no blogging tonight! If you don't know what you're having for Thanksgiving, well, Gawd Bless Ya. Just don't go and buy a frozen turkey on Thanksgiving and throw it in a 400 degree oven, with the giblets still in the paper in the neck, like my friend Rebecca did.

You life and your reputation will suck. I will make fun of her until the day she dies.

Grandma Fifi's Oyster Dressing

Holy shit. I AM Grandma Fifi! How the hell did I become a Grandma??? Shut up. I know. I shouldn't have had kids at age 4.

Anyway, this is my favorite dressing. It is my husband's favorite. It is my friend's favorite. It is everyone's favorite that likes oysters. At my house this is a tradition. Although I do make Peachy's Chicken and Dressing just to appease the folks that need a good southern fix.

Grandma Fifi's Old Fashioned Oyster Dressing

Heat up your oven to 400 degrees. Butter up a 13X9 inch pan. Load it on. Shit, it's Thanksgiving and don't whine about calories. In a large sautee pan heat up about 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil. When it is hot, add about a cup of chopped onions and 1/4 cup of chopped celery. Sautee for 2 minutes.

Add 2 cups of small diced eggplant and 1/4 each of chopped red and green peppers. Cook until soft, about 5 minutes. Season the shit out of it with kosher salt and cayenne pepper. Add about 5 cloves of chopped fresh garlic and 1/2 cup of chopped green onions. Sautee for 2-5 minutes on medium heat. Stir in 1- 1 1/2 lbs of chopped shucked oysters. Sautee for 2 minutes.

Remove from the heat. Chop up the oysters if they are really large.

In a mixing bowl, whisk 1 cup of oyster likker,( "liquor" for the Fancy folks) 1/2 cup of dry white wine, 6 eggs, and a quart of heavy cream. Yes, this is "to die for" fattening, but this is is Thanksgiving. If you eat this everyday, shame on you. If you deprive yourself of this 1 day a year, shame on you.

Put the sauteed mixture into the bowl with the cream and mix well. Stir in 4 - 6 cups or more of day old French and Sourdough breadcubes. You want a nice moist consistency. Have your bakery cube it for you a few days before Thanksgiving. Reseason with salt and cayenne. Add some chopped up flat leaf Italian parsley. Pour the dressing into a nice casserole dish.

Cover with foil and bake for 45 minutes. Remove the foil and add a generous sprinkle of parmesan cheese on top. Bake for another 10-15 minutes. or until it is set in the center.

Remove from oven and let it set and cool for about 30 minutes before serving.

This is the BOMB! if you love oysters, Thanksgiving, and great food!

Plus, I've heard that oysters make you sexy. We could all use some sexy. ;)

Tid Bits

Take the little bit of extra time you have today and tomorrow to chop up your veggies. Onions, bell pepper, celery, carrots etc. will keep really well if sealed in a really tight zip lock in the fridge. It will cut your prep time in 1/2 on Wednesday and Thursday! And, it makes cooking more fun if the prep work is already finished!

Get a lot of it done ahead of time so that you can party with your friends and family!

Holy Hell

I don't have time to post this....but I must, if I am loyal to y'all and worth a shit as a food blogger. I don't want to take a bucket of guilt to my grave. I am working my ass off from now until Thanksgiving, and I have to cook when I can. Remember, I do most everything from scratch. I HAVE to do a soup for Thanksgiving. Fall = Soup. Period. The soup I made tonight makes me want to slap the crap out of someone's Grandma.

This is not easy, but it is not hard. It is just time consuming. Get a bottle of wine, and prepare yourself for the aroma that will escape from your kitchen.

Butternut Squash with Sausage and Wild Rice Bisque

Heat up your oven to 400 degrees. Peel and seed about 4-5 lbs. (3-4) Butternut Squash. Cut it up into 1" chunks. Toss the chunks in a bowl with a few tablespoons olive oil and some kosher salt. Line a baking sheet or two with foil and roast for 45 minutes to one hour. Blow your nose, because you want to smell this stuff really good! Remove it from the oven and cool completely. Put it in a really large bowl and add about 3 cups of chicken stock. Puree it with a boat motor hand held blender, or put it in a real blender in batches. Puree until smooth and set aside.

Have a glass of wine.

While your squash is in the oven cook 1 1/2 cups of wild rice in 5 cups of chicken stock. Heat the stock first, with 1 cup of chopped onions, then add the rice. Simmer for about an hour. Remove the rice and spread on a cookie sheet to cool. Line it with foil so the cleanup is easy and you don't have to scrub the damn pan.

Get about 5 ears of corn and cut the kernels off of the cob. Cut up about another 1 1/2 cup of onions and add to the corn.

Now, heat up a few tablespoons of olive oil in a stock pot. Add 1 1/2 lbs of chopped up smoked sausage. Sautee for 3 minutes. Add the corn and onions and sautee for 3 more minutes. Add some kosher salt and cracked pepper. Add 6- more cups of stock and the Butternut Squash Puree and the rice. Simmer for 20 minutes.

Now, of you are making this way early, like I am, cool to room temperature and freeze until the day before you want to serve. If you are making this to eat ASAP, then add 2 cups of half and half and a tablespoon of flat leaf parsley leaves. Serve. If you freeze it, add the 1/2 and 1/2 and parsley after you reheat it. Don't freeze if you are serving this less than 2 days before you make it.

A dollop of goat cheese in the center when you serve, will be amazing!

This soup will make you famous. Trust me.

This is easy Gor-met soup that will impress your friends and enemies. Especially your enemies. ;)

Corn Machoux

Tired of holiday casseroles made with Cream of Crap Soup? I am. Or, was. I haven't had Cream of Crap anything for about 10 years. What the hell is in that stuff, anyway? Here is how to have an amazing veggie side dish that is not only delicious, very easy, but is gorgeous, too!

Cajun Corn Machoux ( Ma-Shoe for the Yankees out there)

Get a bunch of fresh ears of corn. I don't know how much....how many are you going to feed? 6-8 ought to do it. Cut it off the cob and put in a large bowl. Scrape the cob to add that wonderful sweet corn milk. Dice up a green bell pepper, a orange bell pepper, and a red bell pepper. Add to the bowl. Chop up an onion. Add. Chop up a few green onions tops included. Add. Chop up some garlic. Guess what?.....ADD! Finely chop a few jalapeno peppers. Add. Slice a basketful of those baby tomatoes in half. Add. Chop up some flat leaf parsley. Throw it in. Now, optionally you can add some fresh asparagus tips, some diced zucchini, or any other veggie you are in love with. Stir it all up in the bowl.

On a side note, if you are extremely industrious, you can grill the veggies before you assemble. The grill marks make it really cool!

Melt some butter in a large dutch oven. Add your veggies, and sprinkle with sea salt and fresh cracked pepper. Add a small amount of chicken stock, just to give it a bit of liquid. Cook until the veggies are cooked, yet still crisp. Now, some Cajun cooks would add some heavy cream and reduce it slightly, but I don't because it is yummy just like this and I don't need the calories anyway.

This is awesome! It is delicious, colorful, fresh, healthy, and you won't be duct taping it to your ass like you would with a Cream of Crap concoction topped with deep fried fake onions.

5 days until Thanksgiving!!!

Tid Bits

The Beaujolais Nouveau came out yesterday. KICK ASS! Fun times! Fun times! Not a wine to discuss.....just enjoy! Drink now! Party at my house.........

Gobble Gobble!

Time to start thinking turkey. There are 3 types. A Broadbreasted White....this is the kind most found in typical grocery stores. Think turkey with a boob job. They are bred to offer more white meat, yet the flavor is lacking and can be very dry. Similar to your typical bimbo with size 38 E's.

The next kind is a Free Range Organic. Think of these turkeys being raised in San Francisco. They are natural, roam around a lot, and like to hang out with other turkeys of the same sex. Ok. I'm kidding about that part. Organic free range have more flavor and no hormones, etc.

The next is a Heritage Turkey. To me, these babies have the most amount of flavor and you simply cannot screw them up unless you are on crack. These turkeys are the elite of Turkeyville. They have never been frozen.

I always brine my bird. Brining imparts the most succulent meat, and always gives you a juicy bird. Think of it as putting your turkey at a day spa for 2 days before you place her in the oven.

Here is my brine recipe:

Dissolve 1 cup of salt and 1 cup of brown sugar in a large container. I use 2 huge thick garbage sacks (one inside the other) placed in an ice chest. Chop up 2 oranges and 2 lemons. Throw them in the bag. Now add 6 sprigs of thyme and 4 sprigs of rosemary. If you have a big assed turkey ( not your husband, Silly) add 1/2 cup of salt and 1/2 cup of brown sugar for every extra gallon of water. You are going to give your bird a bath in this stuff.

Rinse out your bird and remove all of the guts from his neck. Reserve that crap for gravy if you want. Soak the turkey in the bag, in the brine for 24 hours. I just lay it in the ice chest, tie it up real good so it doesn't leak, and put a bag of ice on top of it.

When you are ready to cook your bird, remove it from the bath, rinse it out REALLY good, and pat that baby dry with a turkish towel. OK....paper towels will do.

Place the turkey breast side up in a roasting pan on a rack. Rub the boobs with orange segments and butter, stuffing some butter under the skin. Get your husband to help and make stupid jokes. Season the outside with salt and pepper. Stuff the turkey with onion, orange, celery, carrot, bay leaves, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. Hey! Now I know where Simon and Garfunkle got the idea for that crappy song they sang! they must have been making turkeys together...or maybe they were turkeys....I dunno.

Tie the legs together with kitchen string. Now, flip that bird over. (hehehe!) Breast side DOWN! Add some white wine to the bottom of the pan. Roast for 1 hour. Then, flip it back over and baste every hour with the stock.

Put the grocery store bird in the oven at 325 degrees and roast until it reaches 165 degrees internal temperature. Stick the thermometer in the thick part of the thigh, but do not touch a bone. I roast my Heritage bird on 275 to 300 degrees for a longer time. I want it to cook slower.

I can't tell you how long to cook the thing because I don't know how big of a bird you bought. I prefer 2 smaller birds over a very large one because it will be more flavorful if you need lots of meat. Just get it to 160-165 degrees.

When your bird is the right temperature take it out of the oven and tent it with foil. Let it rest for about 30-40 minutes before carving. Actually, you may take the bird out at 160 degrees, because it will continue to cook while it is resting. Do NOT overcook this sucker!

You will have the moistest, most flavorful turkey you have ever eaten. Trust me.

Tid Bits

Go to the store today or tomorrow for all of the basics you will need for next week. Butter, cream, seasonings, cheese, brine crap, and stuff like that. This weekend is going to be HELL in a grocery store and Monday and Tuesday will be even worse. The less you need to pick up the better. Also, if you are getting a frozen turkey, buy it today or tomorrow and let it defrost slowly in the refrigerator.

And today is opening day for Beaujolais Nouveau!!!! Haul your ass to the wine store while you're out. Cheers!

Ham I Am!

Just in time for all of your entertaining!!!! And it is absolutely no work! My friend and her daughters own Ham I Am! Ham I Am! has been sold by Neiman Marcus, Harry and David, and many other gourmet shops around the country. Their hams and bacon have been voted the best in the country by Cooks Illustrated, and they are also featured in Everyday with Rachael Ray, Gourmet Magazine, Bon Appetite, Food and Wine, The New York Times, and many other national publications.

Sharon is a self made entrepreneur. Here is her story........

"Sharon Meehan’s path was being laid long before our story
begins, her grandparents owned bakeries in New England, and
nightly dinners consisted of her mother’s daily creations from
Gourmet Magazine. Her first job, at the age of 14, was for a
specialty food company that did yacht provisioning in Ft
Lauderdale, FL, eventually climbing the ladder and becoming a
buyer.

In 1986, after moving to Texas with her husband, she needed
money to supplement her four young children’s Christmas and
she remembered the fabulous cracked-pepper-encrusted, no water-
added hickory smoked ham she’d had while she visited
friends in Arkansas. She began bringing small loads of hams back
to Texas in the family’s Volkswagen Rabbit to sell to neighbors
and at local school bazaars. The inventory was financed by a local
banker on a signature loan after Meehan brought in her string of
pearls as collateral. The bank president, normally expecting a car title or a home loan as collateral, saw how earnest she was and decided to give her a chance. Meehan knew that failure wasn’t an option, if she didn’t sell the hams she wouldn’t have any way to pay back the loan, and would be sitting on a lot of meat. Neighbors stored the hams in their refrigerators for her as she went out and delivered each one personally to her new customers.

Soon she started brewing up batches of a heavenly sauce she named Hogwash, crafted especially for ham, in her kitchen. The house was filled with aromas of horseradish and brown sugar as her children, husband, neighbors, and anyone willing to lend a hand, helped jar and label the sauce. The sauce flew out the doors and onto holiday tables quicker than she could produce it. The first Christmas proved to be a huge success, but she never wanted to do it again. She recalls, “My house would spring into business the minute the kids left for school, and then it would be back together before dinner. I’d have to vacuum up all those Styrofoam peanuts. It was crazy.” Her customers wouldn’t let her quit,they had found something they couldn’t live without.

Over the years the company has moved out of the home office and expanded to ship all over the country, and has added wholesale customers like Neiman Marcus, Dean and Deluca, and Harry and David.

Today, Sharon’s heart and soul are still very much a part of the business, but her eldest daughter, Meghan Meehan, carries on the tradition of bring delectable food to tables across the country."


The hams come either bone in or boneless. They can be peppered ( I recommend this one!) or not. And don't forget a jar of Hogwash to go with!!!! We also have a Morning Glory Breakfast that includes a decadent Cinnamon Walnut Coffee cake, Peppered bacon, and a Smoked Bacon. Ham I Am! has expanded the tradition to include Hickory Smoked Turkeys, Quail, and other tempting appetizers.


These hams and other goodies will win you Entertainer of the Year! They are also a lovely gift to send to all of your friends and family that are sick of getting grapefruit and socks every holiday season. Needing an appreciation gift for your employees? I can send you our delicious products that will be sure to show them how much they are valued!!!

Instead of standing in the backyard smoking meat for 22 hours, let us do the work for you! That will give you more time to party with Cousin Joe Joe and your hair won't smell like the woods caught on fire. Besides, you can't create ham and turkey and bacon this delicious, even if you tried.

For ordering information please contact me! My email is Robina41@aol.com. We can ship anywhere, and I can provide free delivery in the Dallas area!

Mexican Meatloaf

We are always looking for a recipe that is easy, different, and that the family will eat. After all, if your idea of supper always revolves around what flavor of Hamburger Helper you are going to serve, I am posting this for you. This is a really easy recipe. You can throw this together in 10 minutes, and put it in the oven. Really, you can.

In a big assed bowl mix 2 lbs of ground beef, 1 cup of Tortilla Soup in a jar, 1 can of drained black beans, 3 eggs, and 2 cups of smashed up tortilla chips. Just use your hands......it's easier.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Now grab enough meatloaf to form a very large ball. Pat it, and squeeze it to form a mini meatloaf. About the size of your husbands brain. (only kidding) Put it in a roasting pan, and make about 5 more just like it. Put them all in the same roasting pan. You make a bunch of smaller ones so that they cook quicker. Bake them for about 30 minutes. Pull it out of the oven and dump the rest of your Tortilla Soup on them, and top them off with grated Monterrey Jack cheese. The Tortilla Soup makes the gravy. Stick them back in the oven for 10-15 minutes.

You get all of your spices in the soup. Even those that don't like traditional meatloaf will love this. How many folks do you know that will stick their nose up at a Mexican dinner?

Make some mashed potatoes to go with. And a margarita or four for Mommy.

Ole'~ !!!!

Tid Bits

Or, this should be renamed TIT Bits.......

Please, NEVER tell a child that they will not like something. Let them experience the flavor themselves and start them out tasting different ingredients early in life. DO NOT inflict your own weird crap on to your kids. Create excitement, and tell them a story about what they are tasting.

I had a child today ( about 4 years old) who's Mom told them that they would NOT like an artisian goat cheese, spread with a fig preserve on a cracker. The child insisted. The child loved it. Of course, I was thrilled and gave the child seconds.

So today, a wonderful little person has learned to love an award winning goat cheese topped with a delicious fig preserve, and he would have been warped for life if hadn't been for me.

The End. I may save the world yet. ;)

Sherry's Kale and Potato Au Gratin

Every now and again I get a request for a special recipe. My dear friend Sherry made such a request. You see, her sweetheart has just gone off to Afghanistan and she is feeling mighty down. Now, let me fill you in......to know Sherry is to love Sherry. She is beautiful inside and out. She has a heart as big as Dallas, although she lives in the deep south. Her generosity and love extends to rescuing sea turtles, loving animals, she is an amazing artist, and she can make a difference in everyone's life without even knowing what she is doing. Everyone that she touches is blessed to know her. She is generous, bawdy, witty, and absolutely gorgeous! And, although it is hard to believe, she is a proud new Grandma! This darling girl needs some comfort food, and she needs it fast! Her request was for something with potatoes, a green vegetable, and cheese.

So, in honor of a beautiful lady, here is a beautiful dish that I hope will warm her soul and give her a bit of comfort.......

Kale and Potato Au Gratin

Kale is so sweet this time of year. It is not just for decorating a meat display. The colder weather gives it a nice sweetness and it is extremely nutritious. I don't give a damn about that. I just like it because it tastes good. You're gonna love this, Sherry!

* 1 large bunch of kale (about 1 pound) washed, and torn
* 1 small onion chopped
* 2 tablespoons olive oil
* 1 tablespoon butter
* 3 large potatoes, peeled and sliced into ¼ inch thick slices. Use a mandoline if you have one.
* 2 tablespoons butter (sliced into pats)
* 1 tsp. garlic powder
* 1 tsp. salt
* ½ tsp. cracked pepper
* 1/2 cup shredded cheese (Colby-jack, gruyere and/or cheddar...or a mixture)
* 2 tablespoons flour
* 2 tablespoons of butter ( or a bit more...)
* 3/4 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter or spray a 2-quart baking dish.

Remove kale leaves from stalks, tearing into pieces and wash. Wash it good. Dirt tastes like crap. The first time I made collards, I didn't know this, and ruined a good meal. Set aside to drain.

In skillet, heat the olive oil and butter. Sautee onions until almost done. Add kale to pan and cover, stirring occasionally, until kale is wilted. Remove from pan and let cool. This only gets better......

In same skillet, melt 2 tablespoons of butter over medium low heat. Sift in flour, stirring with a whisk constantly until smooth. Slowly add milk, stirring constantly. Once milk starts to thicken, add salt, garlic powder and pepper, stirring constantly. Add shredded cheese and stir until cheese has melted. Set aside.

Layer potatoes and kale mixture in baking dish, making sure you start and end with the potatoes.

Place pats of butter on each kale layer. Don't be skimpy.

Once layers are complete. Pour sauce mixture over entire dish. This is gonna be amazing.

Once layers are complete. Pour sauce mixture over entire dish.

I got this recipe from Dani Hausek. I changed a few things, but not much. I might add some applewood bacon, chopped up and cooked and then add it when I put it together.


Sherry.......I hope this makes you smile. :)

Bawk! Bawk! Bawk! Chicken Stawk!

This time a year we need chicken stock. A LOT of it. We use it in our soups, our dressings, our gravies, and some of my weirder friends would even bathe in it. Instead of buying cartons after cartons....why not make it yourself?

Now, remember, this is not for the faint of heart. You do not eat the ingredients. You are looking for flavor. Pure, delicious flavor. If you do this exactly like I say, you will be in possession of a stock so flavorful and so rich, if you poured it on Rice Krispies your family would adore you. You need to go to an Asian or a Hispanic grocery store to find your feet. Do not make this while anyone you will be feeding are at home. But, trust me.......the result will be the most flavorful broth you have ever seen. This is because chicken have fat toes. Just like my friend Sue. She has Wilma Flintstone feet. Sorry, Sue, but you do.

Here you go.......HEY! I warned ya!

Chicken Stock

Get a bunch of chicken feet and chicken bones. Chicken feet have fat in them, and the little toes make a delicious stock base. Make sure they have had pedicures, first. Throw them in a big assed pot, and fill the pot 1/2 way with water. Chop the shit out of some carrots and celery and onions. You can even leave the leaves on the celery. Chop in big assed pieces. Add peppercorns and a couple bay leaves. A sprig of rosemary, if ya have it. I don't add salt, because you add that to your recipe.
Simmah down for about 4 hours, or until the liquid has reduced by half. Strain through a mesh sieve, or a cheesecloth. Place in the refrigerator overnight. Skim off the fat in the morning and save the pure stock. Pour it through a fine seive again and then freeze in containers or ziplocks.

Tid bits

Olio Carli

Not sold in grocery stores in Italy, but delivered to each home by bicycle. The only olive oil served at the Vatican. A traditional,affordable,genuine Italian olive oil. $8.99 for 16.9 oz.

That's your 1st tidbit of the day. They are random. More to come........

Peachy's Chicken and Dressing

This recipe comes from my dear friend Peachy. Peachy is famous for her chicken and dressing. It is a longtime family favorite of hers, and I wouldn't dare change one damned thing. She'd kill me. According to her, it is labor intensive, but so worth it! It will bring back memories of a simpler time.....a time before foo foo buerre blanc a derra de funglio ala shit on a shingle, was created. You get the picture. So, just in time for Gobble day, here is Peachy's Chicken and Dressing. And if you change one thing, I'm sure she will hear about it. Lard, help you.

Peachy's Famous Chicken & Dressing


4 to 5 pound whole fryer or hen
16 cups cold water
2 bay leaves
2 onions halved
3 stalks celery cut into short pieces


Wash fryer or hen and discard giblets because the broth is better cooked without them.

Place chicken in large stockpot with bay leaves and vegetables. Add the 16 cups of water and bring to a boil. Boil gently for about 1 hour or until the chicken is very tender and begins to fall away from the bone.

Set off the stove to cool. When cooled enough to handle, strain the chicken and vegetables. Discard the vegetables and remove the chicken from the bone. Keep in the refrigerator until ready to use. Refrigerate the strained both overnight so that the fat will solidify on top. You should have about 12 cups of broth.

Cornbread for dressing (Makes three 9 inch round pans)

6 cups White-Lily self-rising buttermilk cornmeal mix
4 eggs
4 ½ cups buttermilk
1 cup liquid vegetable oil

Place all ingredients in a large bowl and stir until well blended. Pour into three 9-inch well greased cake pans to bake. Pour into three because you want a lot of curst. It makes better dressing that way.

Bake at 350 degrees for about 35 – 40 minutes until well browned. Cool in the pan then crumble into a very large bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside.

When the broth has completely cooled, remove the solid fat from the top and discard. In an effort to trim as much fat as possible from the diet, there are other ways to add flavor to the dressing and to the gravy without sacrificing the rich chicken taste.

Bring the de-fatted broth to the boil and add:

2 cups finely chopped celery
1 cup grated carrots
3 cups finely chopped onions

Boil gently for about 20 minutes or until the vegetables are tender. Remove from heat and add 3 packets Herb-Ox Chicken Flavor Seasonings. It comes in a 1.5 ounce box of eight packets and is usually sold in the soup section of supermarkets. Also add to the broth two cans (10 ¾ ounces each) cream of chicken soup. 1 tsp each of poultry seasoning and sage, and black pepper to taste.

Add the broth to the crumbled cornbread. Break into small pieces 8 slices fresh white bread and fold together until well mixed. Fold in 2 cups finely minced cooked chicken. At this point it is a good idea to taste for seasonings before adding the eggs. Add 6 extra-large eggs, slightly beaten, to the dressing. When all is mixed well pour into two 3 quart baking dishes which have been greased lightly with vegetable oil. Dishes that are 2 ½ to 3 inches deep work well because they keep the dressing moist. Longer, thinner dishes will give drier results.

Bake dressing in a 350 degree oven for about an hour or until it begins to brown. Do not overcook since you will be reheating at serving time. Cool completely. Wrap in aluminum foil for the freezer. When ready to use, remove from the freezer several house before serving time. Leave wrapped in the foil and place in a slow (300 degree oven for about 30 minutes or so. Remove the foil for about the last 10 minutes, just to crisp up the top.

Gravy

12 to 16 ounces fresh chicken livers (boiled in water for about 30 minutes or until tender, drained thoroughly, and then chopped finely)
2 – 3 cups de-fatted chicken broth
2 can cream of chicken soup (10 ¾ ounce cans, not diluted)
2 packages Herb-Ox Chicken Seasonings
Dash salt
Dash black pepper
6 – 8 hard boiled eggs

Stir all except the livers together until a smooth gravy is formed. Add the livers and simmer for 6 minutes. Add, at the last minute 6 to 8 finely chopped boiled eggs. Serve over the hot dressing.

Now this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. Wine. Specifically, what does one serve for Thanksgiving? Oh yeah, there are many wines that are absolutely wonderful with a rich, fat, calorie laden meal, infused with mushrooms, onions, sweet potatoes and turkey. It is really ones own preference. Whites, such as a Reisling, or a Viognier are perfect to go with the bold flavors of a traditional meal. The citrus of a Pinot Grigio is also well suited for the heaviness of the cuisine. One of the most popular wines is a Pinot Noir. It's mushroom like quality and the lightness of the grape make it the #1 choice of most holiday tables. Many haughty taughty families also enjoy a premium sparkling wine or champagne to celebrate this autumn feast.

Enough sophistication. To make this real we know that most of us are surrounded by our quirky families on this holiday. From goofy Uncle Bobby Joe to tipsy Grandma Myrtle. We have kids running around playing Pilgrims and Indians, and football blaring on the tv. Your 17 year old daughter brings her new boyfriend Slash over, complete with head to toe tattoos and multiple body piercings. Hell, Uncle Harold will probably prefer his Bud Lite served in a mason jar. Wouldn't make a difference to him. Grandma will already be a bit tipsy from nipping in the pantry all day. And how many of us really are that picky after watching football all day and doing shots with Cousin Frank?

Which brings me to my favorite wine for turkey day. Not only is it inexpensive, but it has got a great story behind it! Beaujolais Nouveau !!! Here is an excerpt from About.com Wine......................

"As the clock strikes midnight on the third Thursday of November, the new vintage of Beaujolais, Beaujolais Nouveau, is released to the world! Over 60 million bottles make the trek to Paris for worldwide distribution, of which Germany is the leading importer. This is a young wine (only 6 weeks old), grown from the Gamay grape, and is very fruity, light-bodied, and virtually tannin-free making for an extremely easy-to-drink red wine. It is best served chilled to really bring the fruit forward and is a popular complement to Thanksgiving dinners, in part due to its annual release date and in part due to its food-friendliness.

According to a French law passed in 1985, Beaujolais Nouveau may not be released earlier than the third Thursday of November. As a result, tradition and custom have set in to make the annual release race of this much loved wine a fun-filled event. Starting with the hand-picking of the grapes in the Beaujolais growing region (part of Burgundy), followed by carbonic maceration, pressing, and fermentation and on to speedy bottling all to culminate in the midnight release on the third Thursday of November. Next vintners race to see whose Beaujolais Nouveau will be the first to fill the bars and bistros of the world awaiting the new vintage. They have employed all methods of transport as part of the fun and sport – from trucks to trains, jets to hot air balloons to rush their vintage to the front of the uncorking lines. Banners proclaiming, “Le Beaujolais Nouveau est arrive!” – "The New Beaujolais has arrived!" are scattered throughout wine shops, enticing those who are seeking a light-hearted, fruit-filled wine to decorate their holiday tables, and for a mere $6-10 a bottle, the decoration comes fairly cheap!

Beaujolais Nouveau is typically meant to be consumed within the first year of release, certainly not a wine that is intended for aging. Some of the top producers of Beaujolais and Beaujolais Nouveau include: Georges Duboeuf, Domaine Yvon Metras, Jean-Paul Thevenet, and Louis Jadot"

At around $8.00 a bottle it is full of fruit, not too sweet, not too dry, and meant to be drunk (like Aunt Flo) immediately!

This has been a public service announcement. Don't blame me if you buy the expensive stuff and your family doesn't remember what it was! And if you like the expensive stuff, keep your bottle hidden in the washing machine, and refill when Cousin Pete is retelling his annual story about the 17 point buck that he shot, but could never find, even with the help of the FBI.

This is a true story......

Mary Gray’s Chicken Soup

Mary Gray, shot her husband Stephen, for shooting their pet chicken. Before they hauled her off, she put her beloved pet in a brine, to await her return. To 2 gallons of water she added a cup of salt, a cup of Cajun Seasoning, a cup of apple cider, and threw in some rosemary from the garden she had been weeding. She then was hauled off to jail. When she returned, 2 days later, her beloved friend was ready and waiting for her. Mary thought to herself, “When life hands you dead chickens……..make soup!” So she did.

Rinse off the brined chicken really well. Cut the poor bastard in half, and put him in your soup pot. Cover him up with chicken stock, and bring him to a simmer. Turn the fire down to medium. Every now and then, pull the skin off, to keep the fat down. Cook it a good, long time, until it is falling apart. Put the chicken on a platter to cool. Open a bottle of wine, and as in Mary’s case, read a good book like “How To Be Divorced In 60 Days Or Less”.

Chop up some onions, a few carrots, a couple stalks of celery, some English peas,about a ¼ of a cabbage, and some small new potatoes. Dump it in the simmering soup. Take the chicken meat off of the bone, and add it to the pot. Next, mix a spoonful of cumin into a small can of tomato paste. Add it to the pot, and stir. Once the potatoes and carrots are soft, add about a cup of rice, and a shitload of salt and pepper. Hell, dig through your cabinet, and add some other spices, too. Whatever makes you feel creative. Simmer, for about 30 minutes. Make some garlic cheese biscuits to go with.

Now, Mary had another idea. In her garden, she had a bunch of cilantro growing. Determined not to let Stephen get a bit of it in the settlement , she went out and gathered up a bunch. She put it in the food processor, and added 2 jalapenos with the stems off, and the juice of 2 limes.
She then removed the pot from the heat, and stirred in this pesto. It was ready to serve!

*On a side note, Mary was found Not Guilty by reason of being married to an asshole.

Smokin' Brownies ( Not the kind you think)

Ingredients
2-3 wood chips
2 oz. chopped pecans
4 oz. unsalted butter
4 oz. semisweet chocolate chips
2 large eggs
2 oz. pastry flour
1 oz. cocoa powder
6.5 oz. granulated sugar

1. Put wood chips on stove or grill until smoking. Let your husband do this. Makes them feel so manly to play with wood...... and a fire. ;)

2. Place pecans in a metal colander type bowl, then place it in a much larger bowl. Drop the wood chips into the larger bowl, surrounding the pecan bowl. Cover immediately with foil and let smoke for five minutes.

3. Melt butter and chocolate chips over a double boiler. Slowly whisk in eggs.

4. Sift together remaining ingredients and pecans. Gently incorporate into the chocolate.

5. Pour final mixture into a cast-iron skillet (or regular ol’ pan), filling about two inches deep.

6. Bake at 325° for approximately 40 minutes.

7. Serve warm, topped with your favorite ice cream, whipped cream, wine infused fudge sauce, or anything else ya want.

So there’s the scoop.

This recipe came from one of my daughters friends, Chef Doug Brown. She emailed me at 6 am begging me to make this for her. Little shit. She knows I'll do it.

By Request.......

This picture was taken from a Seattle website. Mine does not look this fancy, but it is still damned good.

One of my dear friends wrote to me and told me that she is experiencing the pork doldrums. Meaning, she has a shitload of pork in her freezer, but doesn't know what the hell to do with it. She is bored with the regular pork chop routine. I know how that can go. It's the same with husbands. You just don't know what the hell to do with them until you find that SPECIAL recipe. (meaning I have finally found my special recipe! ;)) So, I will share my special recipe with you. Not husbands....just pork.

Badda Bing Badda Boom Pork

Grab a pork tenderloin or a few thick boneless pork chops. If there is a bunch of fat on the tenderloin, remove it. Rub it down with olive oil and sprinkle some kosher salt and cracked pepper on it. Brown it about 3 minutes on each side in a hot sautee pan with a little more olive oil in the bottom of the pan. Remove the pork and add some onion slices to the bottom of the pan. Now, put your meat on top of the onion slices and put in a hot 375 degree oven. Roast the meat for about 10 minutes, or until it registers 150 degrees. For Gawds sakes don't overcook it. Dried out pork tastes like hell, and no wonder your family will never eat it.

While it is in the oven get out a saucepan. Gather together about a tablespoon of honey,a tablespoon of butter,1/2 cup of dried Bing cherries, a bottle of zinfandel, and some more kosher salt and cracked pepper. If I have to tell you to pour yourself a glass of the wine, then you just haven't been reading my recipes very long. It is essential to to success of your dinner!

Remove the pork from the oven. Add the onions to your saucepan, and keep the meat warm. Just put some foil on it.

Add the butter to the onions over a medium heat. Sip your wine and stir. Now add your cherries and the honey. Stir, then cover for about 5 minutes. Guess what you do while you are waiting? BINGO! ;)

Remove cover and add some zinfandel to the pan. Hopefully you still have a 1/4 glass left. Reduce for about 5-10 minutes.

Slice your tenderloin or chops into medallions. Top with your cherry reduction.

Serve with roasted potatoes and the veg of your choice. BADDA BING! BADDA BOOM!

Dutch Baby!

OK. As you can tell by now I am not too much of a measuring kind of cook. But sometimes you just gotta. I've been thinking that poor old Paul (yeah, right) has been neglected lately because of my busy schedule. I wanted to leave him today feeling mighty fine. It's pretty simple to leave him feeling mighty fine, but today I decided to make him a Dutch Baby for breakfast. ( For some reason this sounds REALLY bad, but I swear that is not my intent)

So, ya gotta measure stuff to make a perfect Dutch Baby. Geez....I just keep getting in deeper and deeper.....( Get your mind out of the gutter). You're going to need a cast iron skillet.

Dutch Baby

Ingredients
3 tablespoons butter, melted and divided
2 3/8 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 1/2 cup
3 tablespoons vanilla sugar, (see below or you can by it already made in specialty stores) plus extra for serving
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup whole milk, room temperature
2 large eggs, room temperature
Lemon wedges
Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Place 2 tablespoons of the melted butter into a 10-inch cast iron skillet and put it in the oven. Set the remaining tablespoon of melted butter aside to cool slightly. Wait 10 minutes, and make a cup of coffee for yourself, before assembling the other ingredients.

Place the flour, vanilla sugar, salt, milk, eggs and remaining tablespoon of melted butter into the bowl of a food processor or blender and process for 30 seconds. Simple. Carefully pour the batter into the preheated skillet. Bake on the middle rack of the oven for 30 to 35 minutes or until the edges are puffed and brown. Sprinkle with additional vanilla sugar and serve with lemon wedges. I like Meyer lemons because they are so juicy and full of flavor. They're in season now, so you are in luck! The Dutch baby should just fall out of the pan when you turn it upside down on your plate.

Vanilla Sugar

Ingredients

* 1 vanilla bean, whole or scraped
* 2 cups granulated sugar

Directions

If vanilla bean is whole, slice down side of bean with back of knife and scrape seeds into airtight container with the sugar. Bury bean in sugar and seal tightly with lid. Let sit for 1 to 2 weeks. Use as regular, granulated sugar.

This fancy pancake is as big as your head. One person could not eat it alone unless you are Mama Cass after a week long fast. I love to sprinkle powdered sugar on this if I don't have any vanilla sugar. If you plan on doing this for the holidays, make your vanilla sugar today!

Now, after your Sweetie has gorged himself, and feels like a million bucks, ask him for his credit card, because you just need a few things on sale at the mall. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. ;)

My Cat Tails Are Getting Tickled!

No time to cook today! Instead I put a fall arrangement on the kitchen counter. This one was not for a wimp. It involved, wheat, cat tails, and that yellow stuff you see on the side of the highway. 14 Zyrtecs later, I have a great arrangement, and I got the added luxury of having my husband clean the kitchen. Yes, I made a huge mess. But it is so worth it!

So, it's coffee and a biscuit with apple butter for breakfast.......gotta get to work early! Have a great day, and remember, fresh flowers are worth it. They will bring a smile to your face and a warmth to your home. Besides, sneezing is the only form of exercise I get on most days. I consider that a good thing!

On an added note.....SHAFT is playing on the radio. Am I old, or what???? I'm gonna sneeze and dance my way to the shower now..... :)

Damned Good Fish

Damned Good Fish



Get out a big old skillet, and pour in some olive oil. Just enough to cook some vegetables in. Add some green onions, normal onions, italian parsley, and bell pepper. If I have to tell you how to chop it up, you shouldn't be cookin' in the first place.
Stir it up while you pour yourself a glass of white wine. Hell, if Julia Child could do it, so can you.

Now pour a bit of the wine in the pan, and add some chopped garlic. Sip your wine and stir for about 10 minutes. Throw in a shitload of chopped up tomatoes. Add some V-8, salt pepper, and Worstershire, and some splashes of hot sauce, and stir it up. Turn down the heat to medium, and reduce it for about 20 minutes. Call your best friend, and tell her what you are doin' and ask her to get over to your place quick. This is going to be good!

Now, take some fresh white fish. Halibut, cod, sea bass, you get the picture...Cut it up into chunks. If you have a big mouth,(like me) cut a big chunk. A little mouth, a little chunk. I really don't have many friends with little mouths. Throw that into the pot. Turn the fire down low. Cook it for 20 more minutes. If you have any wine left, pour some more for yourself. If your friend showed up, open another bottle.

Now make a pot of rice, steamed in chicken broth and lemon zest and put the fish on top.

This is best made wearing an apron that ties in the back, with no drawers on. That way it makes it easier for your husband to kiss yer ass when you bend over. It's that good.

Mamacita's Spring Break Inspired Tortilla Soup

Or, in other words, Mama's Damn Good Let's Get Shitfaced Tortilla Soup.

This is a soupy kind of day. I need something easy to throw on the stove, and I wanted to spice it up. Tortilla Soup!!!!! I started off by putting on a sombrero and cranking up the mariachi music on the stereo. Gotta "feel" the mood! Went to the grocery store wearing said garb with a paper moustache under my nose. Picked up the ingredients. Yes, I got a few stares, but I am used to it.

I cut up some chicken breasts into cubes. Set them aside. In a stock pot or dutch oven I added equal amounts of beef broth, chicken stock, and water. Now, pour yourself a shot of tequila. Cut up a couple of limes. Grab the salt shaker. Lick your hand, sprinkle the salt on it, lick the salt off, shoot the tequila.......and bite down on your lime. Back to the soup........

Add some cut up canned tomatoes. Sautee some onion, bell pepper,chopped carrot, celery, minced jalapeno and garlic in a little olive oil. Add to the pot. Do another shot of tequila. Add the chicken to the pot while you sing La Cucharacha. Having fun yet? Add a couple of ears of fresh corn cut off of the cob. Now add some chili powder, cumin, crushed red pepper,a couple of bay leaves,and salt and pepper to taste.

Turn your flame to low and let it simmer while you do another shot and do the Mexican Hat dance in the middle of the floor. Crank up the stereo. You want to really create that Cancun kind of mood when the family walks in the door. Think Senor Frogs at spring break. Do another shot.

Cut some tortillas into strips and quickly deep fry. When the fam gets home, if they don't have you committed, ladle the soup into bowls. Top with tortilla strips, monterey jack cheese, a dollup of sour cream, some fresh cilantro, some chopped up avocado and a lime wedge. More tequila is optional.

AYE CARRUMBA!!!! YEE YEE YEE YEE YEE!!!!!!!!!!!

A Blast Fom The Past

Sirloin Beef Tits In Red Wine



Ok..Ok…it is Beef TiPs…..but the other makes me laugh. I’ll bet when you tell your family what you’re having for dinner, everyone shows up.



Heat your oven up to 375. Throw a couple slices of bacon or pancetta in a big Dutch Oven. Fry it up, and then take it out, leaving the grease in the pan. Go ahead and eat it. You know you want to. Throw in the beef tits and brown them on all sides. You are not cooking them, you are just giving them a suntan. Lord knows, tits look better when they are brown. Take them out of the pan, but do NOT eat them. Add a glass and a half of nice red wine to the pot and deglaze the pan. Scrape up all of those yummy bits! Do not use shitty wine. If you wouldn’t drink it, don’t cook with it. Obviously you must have a glass for yourself, to determine the quality. Pour in some beef broth, don’t skimp add about 4 cups.., a little bit of tomato paste, salt, chopped garlic, marjoram, parsley, and a bay leaf. It always pisses me off when you use just a little bit of tomato paste, because then you have to throw the rest of the can away. So, use a little more than a tablespoon, so you don’t feel so guilty when you toss it. Always use fresh herbs when you can…..except for the marjoram. I’ve never seen that shit in a store fresh. Bring all of this to a boil.



In a bowl, whisk together a couple of big tablespoons of flour or cornstarch and another half glass of wine. Of course, you must drink the first half of it, to again determine if it is still good. Like I said, shitty wine sucks. Add this liquid to your dutch oven. Whisk it up until it thickens. Add the beef, and the bacon (if you didn’t eat it). Now, throw in some peeled up pearl onions, a bunch of baby carrots, a shitload of tiny red potatoes, and a bunch of mushrooms cut in half. Cover it, and bake it in the oven for about 2 hours.



If you don’t feel like adding the carrots and potatoes, skip it. Pour it all on some noodles, and call it Sirloin Tits on Noodles. No matter what, they are going to love it. Especially old men. Just the name will have them lined up with their walkers. Serve a Viagra pudding for dessert.



Wear something low cut when you serve this meal, and it will be enjoyed all the better. Especially if you are 80 years old and a bit of a lush.

It's Punkin' Time!

Last night's supper was A-MAZ-ING! I decided that I was in a pasta kind of mood. I was looking for a nice fall pasta without a heavy tomato sauce. A lightbulb came on over my head. It does that sometimes. Pumpkin pasta! It also helped that our store now makes fresh pastas daily, and the pumpkin one caught my eye. Supper was literally made in 15 minutes! For those of you that aren't lucky enough to have handmade pasta at your fingertips on a daily basis, I have included an easy recipe. In fact, I've always wanted one of those ravioli cutters, so I will be making mine from this recipe the next time! I paired this with a salad of field greens, sliced pears, sliced figs, roasted walnuts and a few dollops of soft Italian cheese. Finished it off with a Fig and Walnut dressing that I got free when I bought my pork chops this week.

Add a lovely Italian red wine and put Dean Martin on the stereo. No one will be able to knock the smile off of your face!


Pumpkin Ravioli with Hazelnut Sage Butter Sauce

Ingredients

1 cup ricotta cheese
1/2 cup pumpkin puree
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 tablespoons honey
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup cooked pumpkin
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 eggs
2 tablespoons water
3 Amaretto cookies crumbled up

Hazelnut Sage Sauce

1 stick of butter
Fresh sage leaves
Hazelnuts or Walnuts
A sprinkle of ground nutmeg

Roast nuts in a 350 degree oven for 7 minutes. In the meantime melt your stick of butter and add the torn sage leaves and cracked pepper. Sautee for about 30 seconds. Add the roasted nuts and a sprinkle of ground nutmeg.Spoon over the warm ravioli and sprinkle a generous amount of parmesan cheese on top. Finish off with crumbled amaretto cookies.


Directions for the Ravioli

Mix the ricotta cheese, pumpkin, 1/2 teaspoon salt, nutmeg, cinnamon, red pepper flakes and the honey. Set filling aside.
Mix the flour, and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a large bowl; make a well in the center of the flour. Beat the cooked pumpkin, oil, and eggs until well blended, and pour into the well in the flour. Stir with a fork, gradually bring the flour mixture to the center of the bow until the dough makes a ball. If the dough is too dry, mix in up to 2 tablespoons water. Knead lightly on a floured or semolina cloth-covered surface, adding flour if dough is sticky, until smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes. Cover, and let rest for another 5 minutes. Divide the dough into 4 equal parts. Roll the dough, one part at a time, into a rectangle about 12 x 10 inches. Keep the rest of the dough covered while working. Drop 2 level teaspoons filling onto half of the rectangle, about 1 1/2 inches apart in 2 rows of 4 mounds each. Moisten the edges of the dough, and the dough between the rows of pumpkin mixture with water. Fold the other half of the dough up over the pumpkin mixture, pressing the dough down around the pumpkin. Cut between the rows of filling to make ravioli; press the edges together with a fork, or cut with a pastry wheel. A ravioli cutter is also a cool tool to have around! ( Hint, Hint, Paul! ;)) Seal edges well. Repeat with the remaining dough and pumpkin filling. Place ravioli on towel. Let stand, turning once, until dry, about 30 minutes.
Cook ravioli in 4 quarts of boiling salted water with added live oil so they don't stick together. Cook until tender about 7-9 minutes; drain carefully. Set aside and keep warm.

Make your sauce and drizzle over the ravioli. It only takes about 5 minutes!

And we're off.....................!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it? Here we are in November, and the beginning of the Holiday Season! Time to start planning parties, compiling menus, and decorating the house. Things are going to be a bit different for me this year, as I won't have free reign over my own schedule. So, planning will be of the essence! All of the kids will be here for Thanksgiving, so I'll have help, and it will be so much fun! My daughters have turned into quite the little chefs, and it makes this Mama so proud!

Now, as far as decorating. I like to do a gorgeous, large arrangement on my bar. The ceiling height is perfect for it, and I can go all out. However, it needs to be affordable!!! Fall is the perfect time to incorporate some lovely fall dried arrangements that will last until December or beyond. I have a very large vase that I use. I love Bittersweet! The orange and red and brown tones remind me of a crisp autumn day! It lasts forever, and you don't need to add water to the vase. I fold some inside the vase and add a few mini gourds and pumpkins. Then, I add more to the top to make a beautiful display! Simple, easy, and it always gets tons of compliments!

It's also time to start THINKING about your menu. I print off recipes that seem delicious and special and in a few weeks I will narrow it down to the final selection. I have cooked my turkey dozens of different ways, but I always go back to a brining technique. That's the one that is the moistest, and the way the family prefers our turkey. Whether you are going to cook the whole meal, or just take a dish to your celebration, I'll try to have some of the best recipes and ideas right here!

Oh! And as you are out and about, pick up a few items to give as hostess gifts for your parties! We had a delicious sour cream coffee cake by Just Desserts at the store, in the frozen section! Moistest damn coffee cake you ever ate! I grabbed 2 to give to a couple of my gal friends that love to cluck and gossip over coffee in the morning!

Bubble Bubble Toil and Trouble

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

I dressed as the Wicked Bitch....er, Witch of the West for work today. Scared the shit out of a few kids, and one guy told me I looked like Nancy Pelosi. Hmmmmmmm...........
Anyway, I cooked, I played, but this wart on my nose is driving me crazy. So, instead of blogging I am going to get a martini. Dirty. With toad lips and a spider belly for a garnish.

Have a Spookalicious Halloween!

Cast Iron Cookery

Good Morning!!!!

I am now going to try to hit every yard sale in east Texas. I am in hot pursuit of cast iron cookery! Yep, you got it. The stuff your grandma used to cook in. The stuff you whipped out on a boy scout camping trip. That rusty old crap that the dog has been drinking out of in the backyard for 17 years. That's right.....and I'm gonna clean it up. I''m going to use salt as an abrasive and a SOS pad.. I'm gonna scrub and scrub....even use some Barkeepers friend. Get rid of all of that rust. Then, I am going to rub it down with vegetable oil. Put it into a 275 degree oven for a few hours. Now, do it again. And again. And again. This is called "seasoning" the cast iron. It should just glisten. If you are fortunate enough to find a piece of Griswold cast iron.....let me know! I am especially interested in the corn muffin pans that the molds are shaped like little ears of corn.

We did many recipes last night, but here was a great one......

BACON CHEESE AND JALAPENO STUFFED CORNSTICKS (or muffins) This is why I want the cornstick shaped muffin pan, but a regular one will do.

1 Tbsp. bacon fat or shortening for greasing the muffin pan. ( Shortening is for sissies)
1 Tbsp., bacon fat or shortening melted for the Melting Pot.
Crispy jalapeno bacon cut into 1/2 X 3 pieces.
Jalapenos sliced 1/8" thickk, no seeds,2 inches long
1 1/2 cups stoneground yellow cornmeal. (Any cornmeal will do, but I like this one.)
1/2 cup flour
1 tspn salt
2 tspns baking powder
1/2 tspn baking soda
1 egg
1 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup water
smoked gouda cut in strips
cream cheese cut in strips

Grease your muffin pan with the fat and place in oven while it preheats to 450 degrees. Mix cornmeal, flour,salt, soda, and baking powder. Then add egg and buttermilk and beat with a spoon. Add melted fat or shortening and enough water to make a thin batter. Remove very hot pans from the oven and fill each pan up 2/3 full. Top with a piece of bacon, a jalapeno slice, a slice of gouda, and a bit of cream cheese. Bake about 15 minutes, or until brown on top. Thin batter, cast iron, and a hot oven is the secret! If you don't have the muffin pans use a skillet, and spread the cheese, bacon and jalapenos over the top.

This ain't your Grandma's cornbread!!!!!! And who the hell can refuse bacon fat? Why, it's UnAmerican. If you are worried about the fat, go eat some damned cottage cheese and give me your muffin. Thank you.

Poke Chops

Worked late tonight. I have that tired yet contented feeling. Today was Pork Chop Day!!! Not just any pork chops.......1 1/2 inch thick, butterflied, boneless pork chops! Lemme tell you.......the folks LOVED them!!! Now, lemme tell you what I did.

I have a very best friend named Martha Jean. Martha Jean is from Alabama. And Martha Jean makes the best jalapeno pepper jelly on the planet! I use it for everything! Unfortunately, she has not marketed hers yet, so I had to suffice with a jar from the store. Now, it is also damned good.....but don't tell Martha Jean I used it, instead of hers!

First, I sprinkled salt and pepper on the chops. I then browned them in a smidge of olive oil. Just to get a pretty color on the outside. You know how fat looks so good when it is all nice and brown? My friend Jill Conner Browne, THE Sweet Potato Queen made that analogy famous in her first book, The Sweet Potato Queens Book Of Love. Stand in front of a mirror and lift your shirt, or look at your ass in the dead of winter. Them rolls look like hell all white and pasty, right? Well lift that same shirt or look at your ass in the summer when your rolls are all nice and brown. Looks a lot better, doesn't it? Point made.....but I digress.....

After you have browned your chops, spread some pepper jelly over them. Stick them in a 375 degree oven for 12-15 minutes. Yes, that's right. Do NOT overcook them! Our Mama's always cooked the shit out of pork chops until they tasted like a shoe. They just need to be 150 degrees internal temperature! Get the thick ones, so you have something to work with!

Ours were on sale today for $5.99 a lb. and you got free soup and a bottle of awesome salad dressing for FREE! Helluva deal, if you ask me.

Serve with rice steamed in chicken stock and some freshly grated lemon peel.

Eat pork. It is healthy, satisfying, and a welcome prelude to all of the damned turkey we're gonna have to eat in a few weeks.

I'm taking a class tomorrow night on cast iron cooking......so see y'all on Friday!

Round 2!!!!!

Had an early day today. Got to the job about 45 minutes early and had time to have a latte with Maryam. Maryam is my friend that has sold me flowers on a weekly basis for years. It is great to get to know her on a more personal level. Learned a bunch, and made pumpkin pecan coffee, set up a soda pop display and sample station, had baguettes cut for our olive oil sample bar....and then it was off to produce to ask the produce manager what he wanted to feature today.

Garnet Sweet Potatoes from Oregon!!!!

Garnet sweet potatoes are my favorite. The are sweeter than ordinary sweet potatoes and have a gorgeous deep orange color. They are not as stringy, either. They are moist, and are perfect for any dish that calls for sweet potatoes.

I decided to make Pecan Praline Mashed Taters. How can you resist? Hell, it smelled so good I expected a stampede to come in the front door! I probably should have worn protective gear, in case I was tackled!

It was so simple, yet so decadent.

PECAN PRALINE MASHED SWEET POTATOES

(this will make a crapload)

8 large sweet potatoes cut in half.
Butter... 1 1/2 sticks unsalted
Brown Sugar to taste
Apple Pie spice generous sprinkles ( this is a mixture of cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice)
Praline covered Pecans chopped coarsely. I like a lot.
Heavy cream ( just a few splashes)
A splash of Grand Marnier ( and a snifter for yourself)

Bake or steam the sweet potatoes until fork tender. Peel while still hot and put in large bowl. Wear gloves. Them things is HOT!
Add butter and start mashing. By equally mashing and whipping the potatoes in circular motions you will eliminate all stringiness. Add apple pie spice and brown sugar. Taste. Add more of whatever you think it needs. Add the Pecans. Splash in some Grand Marnier if you haven't drank it all. Finally add just enough cream to make it creamy and smooth. Not too much!

Now who in the world wouldn't love this?????? Screw Thanksgiving. Make it tomorrow night and call me. I need some love songs whispered in my ear. ;)

Here I Go!

Well, what duh ya know? I'm a blogger! I never thought I'd see the day! I kind of have an idea of where I am heading with this. I'd like to bring my world of food parties and laughter to my friends in a fun, and unusual way. An update of fun recipes, wacky ideas, and some cool tips that I've learned over the years. Look here to find out what wine too serve with your turkey, to how to pull your neighbor out from under your dining room table and still let him keep his self esteem!

This will be a work in progress. As the ideas come, my fingers will fly! This will not be your usual recipe blog. It will be fun and crazy!

Now.........I will leave you with one of my all time favorites............


See you soon!

This Is NOT Your Grandmas Chicken and Dumplin’s



Wash a big old hen. Hens are better than chickens for this because they are fatter, and this is not a diet recipe. Rub some salt and pepper all over her. If the grandkids are around, shove your hand up her ass, and make her dance. They will think you are cool. Put her in a big assed stock pot over medium or high heat. On top of her throw a bunch of chopped up yellow onions, carrots, celery, a couple of jalapenos, (take about half of the seeds out) garlic, bay leaves and thyme. Don’t use that dry shit that’s been in your cabinet for 7 years, either. FRESH! Cover up the whole mess with water and add plenty more salt and pepper. Bring it to a boil, and then turn it down to low, and let it simmer for about 2 hours. Skim off any foam that floats up. That shit is nasty.



Now, while that is cooking, call up anyone you want to impress and invite them to dinner. When they ask what they can bring, tell them wine, of course.



Strain the stock through a fine mesh strainer. Put the stock in another pot, and save about a handful of the cooked vegetables. Take the meat off of the hen, and put it into the stock, and throw away the skin and bones. Do not give a bone to your dog. It will choke, and you will mess up the whole dinner by having to go to the emergency vet.



Mix up about 2 cups of flour with a bit of baking powder, salt, and a little bit of shortening. Stick your hands in it, and mix it up until it looks all crumby. Mash up those vegetables you saved with a fork. Mix them in with about a cup of milk. Don’t throw all of it in at once. Just a little bit at a time, or you will screw it up. Mix this with your hands nice and slow.



Now, on your counter, or a board throw some flour down. Make sure you have flour on your hands, and put the dough onto the surface. Did I tell you to take your rings off? Screw it. It’s too late now. Flour the top of the dough, and press it out with your fingers until it is pretty flat and spread out. Now, cut it up into strips. Use your head. These aren’t Chinese noodles, they is dumplin’s.



Add some heavy cream to the stock and the meat. I guess about a ½ cup. You might as well duct tape it to your ass, because it’s gonna end up there anyway. Drop the dumplin’s in, and let them cook. Don’t stir the shit out of it, or you will have a thick stew. Cook them about 30 minutes.

Add some chopped up green onions, and parsley for color, and add some cayenne for spice.



Serve it with whateverthehell you want. Nobody will eat anything but this, anyway. Wear elastic pants for serving this recipe. You’ll know why.