A Blast Fom The Past

Sirloin Beef Tits In Red Wine



Ok..Ok…it is Beef TiPs…..but the other makes me laugh. I’ll bet when you tell your family what you’re having for dinner, everyone shows up.



Heat your oven up to 375. Throw a couple slices of bacon or pancetta in a big Dutch Oven. Fry it up, and then take it out, leaving the grease in the pan. Go ahead and eat it. You know you want to. Throw in the beef tits and brown them on all sides. You are not cooking them, you are just giving them a suntan. Lord knows, tits look better when they are brown. Take them out of the pan, but do NOT eat them. Add a glass and a half of nice red wine to the pot and deglaze the pan. Scrape up all of those yummy bits! Do not use shitty wine. If you wouldn’t drink it, don’t cook with it. Obviously you must have a glass for yourself, to determine the quality. Pour in some beef broth, don’t skimp add about 4 cups.., a little bit of tomato paste, salt, chopped garlic, marjoram, parsley, and a bay leaf. It always pisses me off when you use just a little bit of tomato paste, because then you have to throw the rest of the can away. So, use a little more than a tablespoon, so you don’t feel so guilty when you toss it. Always use fresh herbs when you can…..except for the marjoram. I’ve never seen that shit in a store fresh. Bring all of this to a boil.



In a bowl, whisk together a couple of big tablespoons of flour or cornstarch and another half glass of wine. Of course, you must drink the first half of it, to again determine if it is still good. Like I said, shitty wine sucks. Add this liquid to your dutch oven. Whisk it up until it thickens. Add the beef, and the bacon (if you didn’t eat it). Now, throw in some peeled up pearl onions, a bunch of baby carrots, a shitload of tiny red potatoes, and a bunch of mushrooms cut in half. Cover it, and bake it in the oven for about 2 hours.



If you don’t feel like adding the carrots and potatoes, skip it. Pour it all on some noodles, and call it Sirloin Tits on Noodles. No matter what, they are going to love it. Especially old men. Just the name will have them lined up with their walkers. Serve a Viagra pudding for dessert.



Wear something low cut when you serve this meal, and it will be enjoyed all the better. Especially if you are 80 years old and a bit of a lush.