Here I Go!

Well, what duh ya know? I'm a blogger! I never thought I'd see the day! I kind of have an idea of where I am heading with this. I'd like to bring my world of food parties and laughter to my friends in a fun, and unusual way. An update of fun recipes, wacky ideas, and some cool tips that I've learned over the years. Look here to find out what wine too serve with your turkey, to how to pull your neighbor out from under your dining room table and still let him keep his self esteem!

This will be a work in progress. As the ideas come, my fingers will fly! This will not be your usual recipe blog. It will be fun and crazy!

Now.........I will leave you with one of my all time favorites............


See you soon!

This Is NOT Your Grandmas Chicken and Dumplin’s



Wash a big old hen. Hens are better than chickens for this because they are fatter, and this is not a diet recipe. Rub some salt and pepper all over her. If the grandkids are around, shove your hand up her ass, and make her dance. They will think you are cool. Put her in a big assed stock pot over medium or high heat. On top of her throw a bunch of chopped up yellow onions, carrots, celery, a couple of jalapenos, (take about half of the seeds out) garlic, bay leaves and thyme. Don’t use that dry shit that’s been in your cabinet for 7 years, either. FRESH! Cover up the whole mess with water and add plenty more salt and pepper. Bring it to a boil, and then turn it down to low, and let it simmer for about 2 hours. Skim off any foam that floats up. That shit is nasty.



Now, while that is cooking, call up anyone you want to impress and invite them to dinner. When they ask what they can bring, tell them wine, of course.



Strain the stock through a fine mesh strainer. Put the stock in another pot, and save about a handful of the cooked vegetables. Take the meat off of the hen, and put it into the stock, and throw away the skin and bones. Do not give a bone to your dog. It will choke, and you will mess up the whole dinner by having to go to the emergency vet.



Mix up about 2 cups of flour with a bit of baking powder, salt, and a little bit of shortening. Stick your hands in it, and mix it up until it looks all crumby. Mash up those vegetables you saved with a fork. Mix them in with about a cup of milk. Don’t throw all of it in at once. Just a little bit at a time, or you will screw it up. Mix this with your hands nice and slow.



Now, on your counter, or a board throw some flour down. Make sure you have flour on your hands, and put the dough onto the surface. Did I tell you to take your rings off? Screw it. It’s too late now. Flour the top of the dough, and press it out with your fingers until it is pretty flat and spread out. Now, cut it up into strips. Use your head. These aren’t Chinese noodles, they is dumplin’s.



Add some heavy cream to the stock and the meat. I guess about a ½ cup. You might as well duct tape it to your ass, because it’s gonna end up there anyway. Drop the dumplin’s in, and let them cook. Don’t stir the shit out of it, or you will have a thick stew. Cook them about 30 minutes.

Add some chopped up green onions, and parsley for color, and add some cayenne for spice.



Serve it with whateverthehell you want. Nobody will eat anything but this, anyway. Wear elastic pants for serving this recipe. You’ll know why.